Hopefully we'll have our new #s this week...several more referrals went out recently by the looks of it, so I'm thinking we might have even made it down into the teens!
My attachment toward this child is only intensifying, something that's hard to put into words. I find myself thinking about him (or her) more and more. Like tonight, as we were giving the girls their bath, I just kept picturing a little dark-skinned body there in the mix, and it made me smile. And it made me cry...literally. My emotions have been kind of crazy these last few days! I've been dreaming about our little one at night too, and sensing a HUGE need to pray for him (or her) at random times.
It's beginning to seem more real now, I think. I know I've compared the adoption journey to pregnancy before, and now I'm going to do it again: Having lost two babies in my womb, I think I've developed this type of defense mechanism where I try not to give my whole heart until I can hold our little one(s) in my arms. It's kind of a silly thing really; it really doesn't work. But, I try anyway. I'm feeling that now, with this child of my heart.
Longing for the day when I can give my WHOLE HEART to our newest little one, and for the day when our bathtub load increases from two slippery bodies to three... :)
Where does the time go??
14 years ago
1 comment:
just found you from the listserv! i'm excited to follow another family who's so close to us on the list! we're #26 right now... hoping for our new numbers by tomorrow!!!
i, too, am having a bit of a hard time believing it's ever really going to happen... we struggled with infertility for a couple of years so now i have to tell myself, yes, jenny, you really will have a baby!!!! i think getting new numbers every month definitely helps!!!
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