1st Professional Photos In...Too Long

So, a dear friend from my Northwestern college days has a photo studio that she runs out of her home (called Photo Design), and I just LOVE the pictures she took of our girls when we last saw her. (The only bummer was that both of their faces were pretty chapped at the time of the shoot - annoying winter wind and dry skin...) Here are a few of my favorites:


My favorite of both girls together :)


Evie #1


Evie #2


Sylvie #1


Sylvie #2

A Quick Update

This past weekend my mom was gracious enough to come down to our place and stay with the girls while Nathan and I took two van-loads of high school students to a Jazz Festival in Omaha. My favorite part of the weekend: the Bela Flec/Africa Project concert at the Holland Center!! Basically, a bunch of BEAUTIFUL people and TALENTED musicians from Mali and Tanzania - WOW! We bought a c.d. and the girls LOVE it. SO fun! My most memorable lesson of the weekend: be thankful that our children are 3-years-old and not in high school! A handful of great high school-ers, but whoa, their issues are so much bigger. Sharing crayons and making sure we make it to the potty on time look pretty good about now. :)

The BIG adoption highlight of the weekend: We got our I-600A fingerprinting done! Our appointment was on Friday. And the whole situation was perfect - we got in and out in less than 45 minutes, there was no one else in there, we had the waiting room entirely to ourselves, the ladies were really helpful, and WE ARE EXPECTING TO HAVE OUR FDL BACK IN 30 DAYS (or less)!!! :) (The FDL is basically approval from the U.S. federal government saying that we are approved to adopt internationally, if you were curious, and we have to have that piece of paper in our hands before we can get our referral). We should be getting our new March numbers soon-ish (in the next week or two), so I'll keep you posted.

Also, Ev, Syl, and I had such a nice day together today! We didn't even do anything super special - we had a nice playdate this morning, a late lunch, did a bunch of puzzles at the kitchen table, they played nicely with Lincoln logs while I (re)organized one of our storage rooms downstairs, made rainbow crayons (melted our broken crayon pieces down in the oven in muffin tins), traced some shape worksheets, warmed up leftovers for supper,ate supper with daddy, (daddy back to school to take tickets at the choir concert), watched 101 Dalmatians, had baths, made cards to mail to grandmas and grandpas, did the whole bedtime routine, and now...they are looking adorable, asleep in their big-girl beds. What blessings!!! :)

And we're SO looking forward to bringing our next little blessing home...

What To Do If You Wash and Dry An Orange Crayon

Yes, this happened at our house today. :(

Step 1: Notice orange wax on all of the clothes that are supposed to be clean.

Step 2: PANIC!!!

Step 3: Google "What to do if you wash and dry a crayon."

Step 4: Read through a ton of different suggestions, and decide which to try.

Step 5: Decide to clean out the dryer first - run dryer for 10 minutes, wipe down with Soft Scrub, wipe down with wet rag, run dryer 10 more minutes. 99% clean.

Step 6: Now on to the orange waxy clothes - settle on a solution of 2 c. Tide, 1 c. Oxiclean, 1/2 c. Borax, 1 c. Shout, and 1 c. white vinegar.

Step 7: Run to the store for Oxiclean and Borax.

Step 8: Put orange waxy clothes in the washing machine and pour solution over top of clothing.

Step 9: Wash clothes on most intense setting ever for 2 hours.

Step 10: The moment of reckoning - open up the washer and see...NO MORE ORANGE WAX!!!

Step 11: CELEBRATE by calling husband and congratulating self!!!

Step 12: Make a mental note to check for crayons in pockets and in the laundry basket before washing any and all future loads. :)

My Realization Today...

So, the girls and I were at a friend's house today. This friend is a great gal, mom to five kiddos ranging in age from 16 to 3. I was standing around her kitchen, visiting with her as she prepared our lunch, and I just realized that her house is a HOME. She had Valentine's decorations hanging up in the front windows and over the dining room table. She made us some delicious pasta carbonara, salad, and french bread for lunch; it smelled wonderful! She had made up some cookie dough so our four litle girlies could frost and decorate heart-shaped cookies together. And even though her kitchen wasn't spotless and she kept mentioning the laundry that was constantly piling up, it just felt "right" to be there - happy and comfortable - a place where anyone and everyone would want to be.

And I realized that our house is like that too! I make yummy meals, and do gluing and glittering projects with Evie and Sylvie, and randomly serve hot chocolate in colorful tea cups, and put on our "dancing music," and light candles, and snuggle up on the couch with my two best girls and a pile of books...and for some reason, it took me witnessing all of the same things taking place at my friend's house to realize JUST HOW INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT AND LIFE-CHANGING AND ETERNAL what I do at home is. I am (hopefully and prayerfully) making our home a safe haven, a place where my husband and children want to be, where they know they will be loved unconditionally, where they can just be themselves and enjoy themselves and share themselves freely with others. I felt all of those things about my parents' home when I was growing up too, and some of my fondest memories of my childhood are just being at home, not doing anything "special" exactly - just playing board games and sitting by the fireplace and reading on the couch and eating my dad's homemade ice cream and playing baseball in our backyard...And on these "grown-up days" where I feel completely overwhelmed, I look back on those childhood memories and SMILE and feel a sense of relief wash over me - remembering helps me let go of all of the responsibilities and burdens that come with being an adult, even for a moment. And then I can go on. I can enter back into the "adult world" and cope better. Is that silly?

There you have it - my realization today!!!

Snow Pics

Evelyn, Mama, and Sylvia




Daddy and his girls, going to look at the frozen creek




Sylvie, not so sure if she can handle the freezing temps...




Evie, catching snowflakes on her tongue




Evie, ready to try out the sled




Sylvia, Daddy, and Evelyn




Now it's Daddy's turn on the sled :)

New #s For February!!!

Alright, people - last night, our new #s came in!!!

We moved 5 spots on both lists!!! (I was hoping for 10+ spots, but will not complain...at least there was some movement!!!)

BOYS #27
GIRLS #39

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

Here's hoping March #s move us into the teens!!!

Year 30: Lesson #1

So, many of you know that I turned 30 at the beginning of this year...and I had this crazy idea that maybe I should try to come up with 30 lessons I've learned in my first 30 years of life. Something different to blog about, you know?!? So here goes:

LESSON #1: I am the most selfish, imperfect person I know.

There was a time in my life, maybe around my 14th or 15th year, shortly after I'd acknowledged my need for Christ, that I thought, "You know, I'm really becoming more loving, joyful, peaceful, patience, name-a-fruit-of-the-Spirit..." I felt like I was "getting it," you know? And then I got married (at 20). AND THEN I HAD CHILDREN (at 26). And that's when the lesson hit (like a ton of bricks): I am the most selfish, imperfect person I know.

My husband is AMAZING, absolutely AMAZING, and yet there have been times in our 9+ years of marriage when I have not considered him first. My children are BEAUTIFUL, inside and out, and yet every single day (sometimes every single hour, minute?), I am impatient with them, I think, "Can I just have 10 minutes of calm and quiet so I can read my devotion in PEACE?!!? I have known myself to want what is not mine to want. I have known myself to eat/overeat simply for my "pleasure." I have known myself to grumble and complain and be discontent when my life has been nothing but BLESSED. (I could go on here, but I'll spare you...)

When I first made this "discovery" that I am indeed imperfect and selfish, it really bothered me. After all, followers of Christ are to be being conformed more and more to His likeness, aren't they? Two thoughts I've clung to as I've processed through this (over the past 3 years): 1) "My power is made perfect in weakness" (I Corinthians 12:9) For our Lord's power to be made known in the most perfect and big way, He uses my greatest weaknesses to bring glory to Himself. And somewhat similarly, 2) For confession and repentance to be an active part of my relationship Him, I HAVE to be acutely aware of my failings. It's when I become unaware of my selfishness, imperfections, weaknesses, sinful tendencies that I drift away from Him.

That said, it is my earnest prayer that He will continually be growing holiness in me, not for my sake, but for His glory and honor. But, it is also my prayer that I will never lose sight of the darkness that is inside of myself, knowing that anything and everything "good" about me comes solely from Him and should be credited to Him alone.

So, there you have it - LESSON #1! Maybe I'll pick a bit lighter topic for LESSON #2...guess you'll just have to wait and see! :)

Exactly What I'm Afraid Of

http://james127family.blogspot.com/2010/02/devastated.html

Questions: Then and Now

When we were pregnant with our first little one, my greatest concerns were, "What color should we paint his/her room?" and "Which pediatrician should we see?" After Silas left my womb for heaven, and we were pregnant with our twin girls, my greatest concern was, "Will they ever draw a breath on this earth?" When we became pregnant for the third time, I didn't question as much as I pleaded. I found myself saying, "Surely, Lord, you will let this baby live! Surely you will not allow such suffering in our lives again." But, He did.

And as a result of all the pain, something good has come. We are now on a journey to our little sweet pea in Ethiopia, a journey that we might never have set out on had it not been for the little ones we've buried. And now, the questions have returned, but they sound more like this: "When all of this paperwork and waiting and more paperwork and more waiting is done, are we really and truly going to have a baby, the one chosen by God to be a part of our family forever, in our arms?" "But, what if...our FDL letter doesn't come, the courts close down for the rainy season before we pass, Ethiopia closes its doors to adoption completely, the U.S. government changes its policies on international adoption, we get a referral and then the biological family wants him/her back, we fly back to the States with our baby in our arms and we're denied entrance into the country" and on and on it goes with the "what ifs"...

A wise friend of mine has a "Word of the Year" every year, something she thinks God is calling her to work on. Her word this year is TRUST (do you know who you are yet?!?) and she made a startling discovery a week or so ago: It's not that she doubts God's goodness or sovereignty, it's that she is afraid of the potential for pain. Afraid of pain. And I'm there too, right now. Afraid that after all of these months of praying and longing and hoping and writing and mailing and fingerprinting and calling and dreaming of a little brown-skinned baby sleeping peacefully in the girls' old crib...we'll be left with only pain.

O me of little faith!

A Sad, Happy Week...

SAD: One year ago, on February 5, 2009, our Baby Job left my womb for heaven. This week has been a hard one for me - remembering saying goodbye to our second little one, letting go of a part of my heart that left this earth that day. Loss. Pain. Surrender.

HAPPY: Our US-CIS fingerprinting appointments dates arrived in the mail today, not even one month after we submitted our application, homestudy, fees, etc!! A remarkably fast turnaround, especially with all of the recent changes in how US-CIS is handling international adoptions!! Our appointments are set for February 19, only a few weeks away. Assuming all goes well with our fingerprinting, the U.S. government will then send us our "We-Approve-You-To-Adopt-Internationally" letter, which we have to have in our hands before a child can be referred to us - a HUGE milestone in the adoption process!!!

Happy. Sad. Sad. Happy.

He gives. He takes away. He takes away. He gives.

May the Name of the Lord be praised ALWAYS and FOREVER.