Maybe I'm Alone Here...

It occurred to me yesterday, while visiting with a friend, that much of what we've been asked to do thus far in the process of adopting comes down to presenting ourselves well to the people in the Ethiopian court system who will ultimately decide if we are "qualified" to parent an Ethiopian-born child. We've been working hard the last three months to present our home, our family, our jobs, our health - mental and physical, our character, our resources, etc. in the most positive light possible. And I started having all of these emotions about it just recently.

I've been reading other families' blogs who are in the same place in their adoption journeys, and I can't help looking at their photographs and reading their stories, and thinking, "Gosh, our house doesn't look like that" or "Our photos aren't as 'professional' as theirs" which leads me to question myself, and our family, and if we're "in the same league" as others who are bringing little ones home from overseas. I DON'T question our call to adopt, not in the least (Nathan and I have both felt nothing but peace since the very beginning). And I DON'T question that we can offer this little one a stable, loving home with parents who are committed to each other, and to the Lord.

I think it's just a difficult thing to feel like you're constantly trying to convince someone (again, the courts) that you're "good enough," "qualified enough," "capable enough" to raise a child. Maybe our home isn't as big as some. Maybe our resources aren't as abundant as some. Maybe we're not as physically attractive as some. Maybe we prefer to take photos with our dinky little digital camera and tripod. But, I KNOW that the unconditional love we already have for this little one is real. I KNOW that we will be committed to raising this little one with the knowledge of the Truth. I KNOW that we will do everything in our power to support and uplift and serve this little one.

Getting caught up in "how we compare" isn't helpful to anyone. I only pray that the Holy Spirit will be working in the hearts and minds of the people there who will be making decisions in regards to our child.